Dr. Venture reads the Declaration of Villainous Aggression.png

A Declaration of Villainous Aggression is a written threat issued by a member of the Guild of Calamitous Intent to their assigned protagonist. It is written in calligraphed ink on a parchment scroll and delivered to the intended nemesis to declare that an arching is imminent.

History[edit | edit source]

In the episode The Bellicose Proxy the Guild antagonist Augustus St. Cloud sends a Declaration of Villainous Aggression to Master Billy Quizboy at the VenTech Tower, Billy's workplace. Billy and Pete White are terrified by the declaration, seeing it as a legitimate threat to their lives. Dr. Venture, however, having lived through years of aggression from the Guild of Calamitous Intent, dismisses the scroll as a "boilerplate Guild threat", telling Billy and Pete that "It's like being scared of a book report on the Declaration of Independence."

"This is a boilerplate Guild threat."[edit | edit source]

The text of the Declaration of Villainous Aggression that Augustus St. Cloud sends to Master Billy Quizboy in The Bellicose Proxy reads as follows:

THE GUILD of CALAMITOUS INTENT

Official Issue

DECLARATION OF VILLAINOUS AGGRESSION

Set Forth By

St. Cloud Antagonistic Against The Quizboy

...

This Document, With The Consent And Supervision Of

THE GUILD OF CALAMITOUS INTENT

hereby Officially Declares ARCH RIVALRY

Between The Aforementioned Antagonists And Protagonists.

...

Fair Conduct Due To LEVEL ONE Equally Matched Aggression.

...

Welcome to your demise! Forthwith and forever

after, your days are numbered. The aforemen-

tioned antagonist will be your undoing. The

laments of your children will mix disturbingly with

the villainous laughter of the aforementioned constituent of the

mighty Guild. For her/his/their pleasure and amusement, your

bowels will be wrenched from your torso and used to crown the

head of the aforementioned antagonist as pinguid laurels. The

meager brains once housed safely in your skull will be scooped

out and used with great irony to lubricate the machine that was

employed to scoop out your brains from your skull. Your eyes will be

plucked from their sockets and turned to face your now empty

sockets as to guarantee your dying observation will be both diz-

zying and disturbing.

...

With this Declaration, THE GUILD OF CALAMITOUS

INTENT and its constituents welcomes you and your team

into the Guild's FAMILY OF HATE. You are hereby bound by

both contract and fear to abide the registered rules of con-

duct laid out by the governing bodies of Licensed Aggression.

Episode Appearances[edit | edit source]

Season 7[edit | edit source]

Gallery[edit | edit source]

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